The #1 Surprising Fact About Non Verbal Autism You Will Be Glad You Knew

michelle hatcher's powering parenting for autism

Have you come away from your child’s diagnosis assessment and wonder if they had got it wrong? Have you ever wanted to challenge being told your child won’t talk? Have you ever wanted to prove doctors wrong, because you know your child better than they do?

WELL YOU WERE RIGHT. NOW, HERE’S WHY…

In this video I share with you one surprising fact about non verbal autism that will encourage you to think again. It is THE #1 surprising fact about non verbal autism you will be glad you knew!

The current situation in the world means that more and more ASD children are not getting the support and teachers they need in schools as the demand for assistance reaches crisis point in many of our communities. This is bad for our children because they will never get the encouragement they deserve to achieve anything in life, thus meaning a future of loneliness, poverty and depression.

So these are our choices;

  • We take teaching into our OWN hands…
  • OR we say ‘blow it’ and leave our kids in the care of incompetent States. So, what’s it going to be for YOUR child?

This is what I need YOU to do to ensure your child does NOT get left behind as another failed statistic;

Watch the video, subscribe to our weekly news broadcast, download the FREE 3 STEP GUIDE TO EXPANDING YOUR CHILD’S SOCIAL ABILITIES and get set to change history, bring back your hard earned retirement cash and see your children’s independence become a thing of reality!

Don’t forget to pick up your FREE paper on how CBT can help your child expand their social and communcation skills with immediate effect…. https://michellehatchermedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/3-Step-Guide-To-Expanding-Your-Childs-Social-Abilities.pdf

 

Make Your Child’s Return To School Stress Free!

how to get your ASD successfully back to school after the holidays

how to get your ASD child back to school easilyThe end of the Christmas holidays, for many parents of ASD kids can be a blessed relief. The trauma of Christmas with its over stimulus of flashing fairy lights, noise and colour can be hugely confusing and terrifying for our children, that the welcome return of school can be a God send.

But how do you get your child back into the swing of school when their sleep patterns, daily activities and so on have been geared around being at home?

That’s easy!  For a parent like me with an Autistic teenager who also has a pathological aversion to getting up before noon, I have developed a quick and stress free strategy to coax even the most immovable children on the first day back at school! So here we go to ensure your ASD child gets back into the routine of school!

 

 

STEP ONE:

  • Rehearse!  One of the best ways I have enabled my son to get up ready for school on the first day back from any school break is to do a dummy run at least one day before. That way, the stress of waking up at what he decides is an ‘unearthly hour’ will be less anxiety filled for both of you. You might want to try it two days before. Simply remind them in the best way you know how the night before that this is what is going to happen so they can expect it. The key here is to the always try and take the sting out of the event. Gradual build up to something like going back to school will always be easier on everyone in the house!
  • Use small steps! Jon never, and still doesn’t like the idea of having to deal with any event in one hit. So when I need him to get up early and be ready to go somewhere like school, I will walk him through each step of the day, one bit at a time. If I know it is going to be a very intense event for him, I will go through the day half an hour at a time. That way, he knows he can feel calmer throughout the day so that he can focus on what is expected of him. If you’re not going to be physically with him, make sure that anyone who is going to be with him that day (school support, teaching assistant) has a heads up before of what they need to do.
  • Gently Gently! Jon is so much better to coax into doing something if I take the calm approach. There is no point losing my rag with him when I know that time is ticking on and he needs to get going. I have found that there is a much better way of asking him to do something if I word it like this…

‘Jon, if you have your breakfast now, you will be able to watch a few minutes of TV before the school bus arrives..‘ Rather than ‘Jon, you will be late if you don’t hurry up and eat your breakfast’

I find that the latter will only enable him to focus on the most stress making word in that sentence – late – so that won’t help with his stress levels and is more likely to hinder any motivation to want to move. Using word techniques to help people with Autism cope with tasks has been used for over 40 years in methods like NLP, but my particualr favourite is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It has helped people with all sorts of disorders from Autism to depression, not to mention how to help positive thoughts and keep your child motivated, happy and confident!

I have been using CBT with my son, Jonathan for almost ten years, but I will be honest with you. It has only helped Jon when I have tailored the methods and used the regularly. That’s the secret I have found to CBT. Using it in daily life, or at least a few times a week in activities is the only way to ensure that Jon gets the tools to help himself deal with the anxities of life that comes with Autism.

WHAT YOU CAN DO NEXT….

I would like you to download my FREE paper on how I have used CBT successfully in Jon’s life. I was determined to really get the best out of using techniques like the ABC Model and working with Schemas that I decided to become a qualified CBT Therapist myself.

So here I am, giving you a flying start in helping your child to be confident, independent and successful in social and communcaition skills! I think you will gain an awful lot from the technqiues I cover in this 23 page guide which I have written especially for you. It is completely FREE and the knowledge that I wish someone had told me about when Jon was first diagnosed!

 

 

3 things parents need to know about meltdowns

It can be scary. The day your child turns against you. What did you do wrong? What could have triggered this anger, this aggression? But have no
fear. Take apodcast series - living with autismdeep breath. Here are three things to make you feel OK with your role as a parent again.

  1. It’s not your fault.

This might be a no brainer but it is incredible how the feeling of guilt can swallow you whole when your child has a sensory meltdown in front of you, and usually in a busy public place. Those eyes might be judging you and boring down into the back of your neck, but take no notice. They have no idea. They are only thinking the way they are through limited knowledge. That’s all. It is far from your fault whatever has triggered off your child at that moment. It could be something that happened five minutes ago or five weeks ago. Whatever it is, it is nothing to do with you or your actions. The aggression is out of anxiety or stress overload.  Stay tuned and loving. Your child will resume normal service when the time is right.

  1. Your child isn’t naughty

You child is suffering what we would call a wiring fault, or, as some prefer, a different type of wiring to the rest of the world. It allows them to feel a hundred times more than the rest of us.  We have receptors, right? Sight, hearing, taste, smell. Well, what happens is that every day there are roughly 9 million bits of information floating around us at any one time. Our filters in our receptors take in on average around 126 of those 9 million. It is my firm belief that children on the spectrum, like people with PDA take in a heck of a lot more than just 126 bits. They take in thousands perhaps. This is what we know as sensory overload. When this happens, your child will go into a state of that overload which causes anxiety. The body needs to release that state of anxiety that’s building up and it comes out as aggression, shouting, violent actions, movements and anger. Some Jon aged 7. He had a passion for tractorspeople might become introverted to deal with their stress. It this case, they will become withdrawn, quiet, avoid eye contact or any other form of communication. Either way, they are experiencing too much information and need to get away from it as quickly as possible. Don’t forget the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum; a tantrum is when a child is in control of the behaviour. A meltdown is the opposite.

My son Jon (aged 7, pictured left) tends to walk away suddenly while he tries to control his anger. As he has got older, he will tell me he is feeling anxious and that he needs to leave. He will take himself into a place away from the overload to deal with it. It is about then he will ask that no one approaches him and talk to him. My job is to ensure his safety so I move with him but I keep my distance from him to give him space to calm down. Other around you will think he is being naughty. He is not. He is just dealing with a lot of information too quickly and needs to find a place to chill out.  You child is doing exactly the same but in their way. As PDA people get older, then tend to find a way to deal with their panic attacks and may tell you what they need and what they don’t need to calm themselves down.

  1. Your child desperately wants to fit in with the world.

True. So very true. Sometimes the anxiety of feeling that they can’t fit in weighs them down making meltdowns even worse. The world around your child is very scary to them. A lot more scary than it is for the rest of us. There are a multitude of sounds, smells and feelings that are all trying to hammer their way into your child’s brain all at once, or at least, that’s how it feels to them. Don’t think for a minute that your child just wants to terrorise the place and show you up (that was how I used to think, I will admit that!) They do want to fit in and sometimes, don’t like being different. There may be a rule of thinking that suggests that the world needs to change. That could be true, but when Jon stands at school with 15 of his fellow buddies from the ASD unit, there is a resounding desire to simply just, be normal. What we mustn’t do is fuss over them. If I had a pound for every time Jon has shouted ‘stop fussing Mungie!’ Then, well, you know the rest.  So for the parent still trying to understand what happens when their child kicks off; let me introduce to you My Four ‘S’s

  • Stuff it: Does the request really need to be done? Is it worth a meltdown?
  • Space: Keep your child in easy reach if there was danger ahead but give them some space to come down. Instead of guiding them to where you want them to go, try just letting them go where they want to. You will find they will calm down a lot quicker.
  • Solitude: A difficult one when your instinct as a parent is to want to reassure them, but this won’t help them calm down. They are trying to get away from the sensory overload, you will be giving them more if you add your voice to it. No matter how gentle it might be.
  • Soothe: When you child is willing to come back and join you, reassure them that they are not in trouble. Don’t shout at them, don’t judge. Just soothe. A child can be where their brain might want to reach that state of anxiety again, so tread carefully at this point and offer a hug or a hand to hold.

Like this post? You will love How To Turn Your Child’s Autism Around And Save Money!michelle hatcher

get your child's social and comunication skills up to speed today!Michelle Hatcher is the author of the Progress Pentagon parenting courses and founder of the best-selling : Unleashing The Positive Mind Masterclass. She is a certified CBT Therapist, NLP Practitioner, mother of 15 year old Jon who has Autism and PDA and certified Life Coach.

She is also a member of the Complimentary Medical Association, the International Alliance of Holistic Therapists
and The Association of Integrative Psychology.  Her autobiography, How To… uncovers the secrets of Autism and how to overcome it plus it tracks her life as a mother of an Autistic child, how she developed her best-selling courses using CBT and NLP with Autism. She is also a public speaker on Autism Awareness.

She lives in Wiltshire with husband Nick, son, Jon and three cats; Apple, Missy and Augusta.

Children Behaving Badly; NLP and how to make parenting work

This is a subject I often get asked to talk about; naughty children.

I am not sure I am entirely happy with the term ‘naughty children,’ it rather sounds to me as if something is being done deliberately by the child to cause an adverse reaction in the person/parent or situation, but more often than not, it is more a simple way of getting through an uneasy situation.

NLP looks at behaviours from another angle. We are all a system of behaviours from when we get up in the morning to when we go to bed at night. Each mannerism, word, act, smile and interaction is an intricate sequence of behaviours. If you think of our nervous system as a circuit board not that dissimilar to one in a laptop, then all NLP teaches us to do it home in on the behaviour and change it to a newer, more efficient and updated programme.

michelle hatcher life coaching

Children are more often than not, the people in our society who are more likely to act up every now and again (although I know some adults who are very good at this too!) And there is a specific reason why it is children more than any other demographic in society; a lack of life experiences and well, programming is to blame. And the reason why adults can behave badly in society is the same lack of programming, although this is usually a an unresolved issue in the life stage transition that needs to be rectified.

In NLP, there is no such thing as a bad behaviour. What someone might do is something that their mind sees as a good or positive intention. The mind, as far as I know, is useless at being bad. What happens is that a good intention either consciously or subconsciously has forced the person to do or be something that’s not acceptable.  The behaviour has a good intention and as far as the mind of the child is concerned, that’s all that’s important.

Ok, I guess I was there with you right now, I would be able to see you frowning. I shall put it another way; a child might have learned that to get what they want (and this is only ever at least one of the six human needs that Tony R0bbins talks about; certainty, uncertainty, acceptance, connection, worth, contribution) by behaving a certain way. If the behaviour is subconsciously then the subconscious mind cannot determine what is right or wrong. It does what it does for its own reason. It doesn’t know how to accept or reject lessons, especially when it comes to good/bad behaviour. The child reacts with a behaviour system it thinks will get it what it wants. The adult interprets the behaviour as bad as the adult’s conscious mind knows that they is not acceptable behaviour. The adult scolds the child and the child cries. As far as the child is concerned, it hasn’t done anything wrong and therefore doesn’t understand the telling off.

Ok, so what do you do if you’re the parent?

First of all, think back to when this behaviour started or at least back to a time when you recognised this behaviour happening. What is the child asking for? What is the need? Now, bearing in mind, this might not be exactly what you think it is. NLP teaches us to go beyond the behaviour. As many successful NLP practitioners will tell you, their client’s problems are never the problems they think they have. It’s always a cover up for another issue that needs resolving. if the child wants an ice cream and you would prefer it not to, is the child associating the ice cream with comfort? Is there another needs that needs addressing?

As human beings we are very good at covering up stuff. We can layer on thickly all sorts of diversions right from a very young age which deflects what we really want in life. Sadly, it is these layers that stop us from fulfilling our true potential. Dig deep down beyond what you think is the problem and you find the root of the issue.

Bringing your child into the world and nurturing he or she as they grow and develop is all about teaching them positive behaviours, good communication skills and so on. It is a tought enough battle for any parent.  Add a learning disability on top of that such as ADHD, Autism and so on, and the challenge becomes greater. With my son, who is now 15 and has autism, programming good behaviours in has been very challenging. With Autism, there is a social element as well as a communication one that needs to be addressed before any developing can really start. Communication is 90% of our lives, either to ourselves or to other people.  With children on the ASD spectrum, their sense of identity is very different to the rest of the world. Coping with how they see themselves is very much half the battle, so something like NLP which doesn’t judge, segregate or categorise people in any way shape or form can be the key to unlocking the potential that lies within everyone.

If you would like a FREE 30 minute consultation with me on how either NLP or Life Coaching can help you find your answer, then please do get in touch with me as I would love to help you. You can fill in the form below or if you prefer, email me direct at michelle@michellehatchermedia.com. Thank you