The Theory of Awesomeness

One Good Reason Why We Should Listen to Jeremy Piven

Today’s inspirational news flash is that actually, we’re all the same, even the greatest people on the planet. In mind, body and spirit, we breathe, walk, talk and search for a deeper meaning on the same level. Regardless of where we are, what country we’re currently in and what outfit we drew from the wardrobe that morning.

Star of the recent ITV hit, Mr Selfridge, Jeremy Piven talked to The Gentleman’s Journal back in May 2016 about life, London and where he wants to be in ten years time. As with any of these casual ‘we bumped into…and chatted’ interviews, the reader is usually left with a half drunk cup of coffee and a wonder of what life is like on ‘the other side.’ I usually flick through such star struck conversations with a slight whiff of curious nonchalance especially if the undertone is ‘you’re life is never going to be as good as ours,’ but I found myself reading the article with a growing interest and it got me thinking about that elusive game our monkey subconscious minds play with stuff like this; perception.

17 foot tall mentor, Tony Robbins, booms across a stage in front of several thousand followers about how our minds like to generalise everything. From the colour of skin to the types of sneakers won by a rap star, we just love to hang out with our like-minded unconsciousness and rant on about how fantastic our lives would be if we were this guy or this model slinking along a red carpet somewhere. I hate to tell you chaps, it ain’t like that. Mr Piven attempts to engage with TGJ during the interview about perception; what is real and what appears to be real. Sadly, it is at the point where the interviewer decides to break rapport with the actor and end the interview in the nicest possible way which I found to be an enormous shame; just when the conversation was starting to get interesting.

I guess the gripe I have here is that it appeared that the interviewer had a perception that the readers would have had enough of Mr P at this point and therefore, the article finishes. Yet there are a good reasonable amount of fascinated challengers and thinkers out there who would have loved to have heard the truer side of the story. What is it we’re all looking for? What is the greater being we want to be at one with? As Abraham Maslow believed, it is those of us who meet our basic human needs for survival who reach higher to self-actualisation. We study, we learn, we become or just want to find out more about reality, or what we perceive as reality.

Mr Piven in quite right; the fact that two people who have never met, can have a conversation heading towards intimacy yet be thousands of miles away across continents.  When put into plain English, it is very surreal. Yet is this just another example of the human mind reaching out to connect with another on a deeper level? I would certainly agree with that being the desired result every time I smile at a stranger in the street.

Mr Piven points out in the interview that age is not something we should be looking for in each other (another perception in society is that if we don’t look young or fit enough, we’ve proverbially had it.) For me, I have battled with a long-held and much nurtured belief, that as I didn’t do so well during my 20’s, I should be hanging up my mountain boots in my 40’s. The perception we need to focus on is to strive for your goals at any point in your life, and this needs to be the image you run towards, no matter what. (By the way, million-dollar motivational giant Tony Robbins is 56. That certainly makes me feel better.)

As I stepped off a plane from Seattle a few days ago, I reflected back on the long weekend I had spent with 60 or so Americans who, like me, had gathered to listen to Dr Matt James and colleagues talk about NLP and Huna; the ancient teachings of the people of Hawaii. Up until a week ago, I had believed that the U.S was a magical land (as I still think it is.) For a humble Brit, I had grown up believing that it was the land were dreams came true and that everyone was ‘sorted’ in the States. America, for me, has been the big brother I never had to look up to. For me, America set the standard, and I followed. My perception of the people in the U.S updated, I am pleased to say. I was fortunate enough to make some lasting friendships with my new-found cousins from the free world. Their impressions on the one and only Brit in the camp, lasting and cherished.

Coming back home I realised that people, no matter where they are from and how successful they are in their lives, are all human beings with dreams, fears of failing and desires to connect with other humans. My weekend in America exposed me to real emotions, real change and strong spirit. Something that in the U.K, we still haven’t got to grips with. Stepping back to TGJ interview for a moment, I felt that Mr Piven in the interview with TGJ was looking for a connection; a conversation at a deeper level; an image of a more intellectual plane, but somehow appeared to be fading with each passing line.

My thought for today is this; the next time to gasp at the latest front page of The Enquirer, or judge a more mature star for piling on the odd pound or two or for making a bad wardrobe choice that day, stop. Realise if you can, that these people we see on our screens and in our papers are just like us; human beings who have a voice, who have thoughts, and if we let them speak fully, we might just learn something.

Here is recent interview I found on radio in the U.S which you might like to watch, oh and Mr P, if you’re reading this, there will always be those who are jealous of what others have and to make themselves significant, they will jump up and down in the only way they know how. Feel sorry for them Mr P. It’s only envy for what you have. And that’s the best spin on it…. 

Cause and Effect; Human psychology in the 21st Century

the mind blowing walk through modern social historyCause and Effect is the next in the explosive series of self help psychology books by Michelle Hatcher.

Taking the bull by the horns, this extraordinary journey of self discovery is the ultimate companion for anyone going through the mid life stage of wondering what life is all about. Light hearted and bittersweet, Michelle gives a frank and open account on how she managed the news of her son’s diagnosis of Autism; how she felt, what she did to move forward against a backdrop of schools, authorities and even close family members defying the odds. She comes clean over her expectations for his future highlighting and confronting many of the questions parents are met with on facing Autism alone.

Moving into the external world, she encourages the reader to take a good hard look at society today. Using a backdrop of events that shocked the world from the sudden death of Princess Diana to the unimaginable loss of Robin Williams, Michelle takes a walk through what happens when we’re hit by loss, grief and suicide and how we can grow and move on from tragic events with a stronger outlook despite the odds.

Michelle opens up the world of human psychology and takes a fork and dives into the strange universe that man has yet to conquer successfully. Using 20th century events, 19th century beliefs and 21st century logic, this book will have you laughing, crying and thinking deeply about your life, the future of the world and why we are the way we are.

This wonderful mind blowing book about the mind is available now on Amazon Kindle. 

Children Behaving Badly; NLP and how to make parenting work

This is a subject I often get asked to talk about; naughty children.

I am not sure I am entirely happy with the term ‘naughty children,’ it rather sounds to me as if something is being done deliberately by the child to cause an adverse reaction in the person/parent or situation, but more often than not, it is more a simple way of getting through an uneasy situation.

NLP looks at behaviours from another angle. We are all a system of behaviours from when we get up in the morning to when we go to bed at night. Each mannerism, word, act, smile and interaction is an intricate sequence of behaviours. If you think of our nervous system as a circuit board not that dissimilar to one in a laptop, then all NLP teaches us to do it home in on the behaviour and change it to a newer, more efficient and updated programme.

michelle hatcher life coaching

Children are more often than not, the people in our society who are more likely to act up every now and again (although I know some adults who are very good at this too!) And there is a specific reason why it is children more than any other demographic in society; a lack of life experiences and well, programming is to blame. And the reason why adults can behave badly in society is the same lack of programming, although this is usually a an unresolved issue in the life stage transition that needs to be rectified.

In NLP, there is no such thing as a bad behaviour. What someone might do is something that their mind sees as a good or positive intention. The mind, as far as I know, is useless at being bad. What happens is that a good intention either consciously or subconsciously has forced the person to do or be something that’s not acceptable.  The behaviour has a good intention and as far as the mind of the child is concerned, that’s all that’s important.

Ok, I guess I was there with you right now, I would be able to see you frowning. I shall put it another way; a child might have learned that to get what they want (and this is only ever at least one of the six human needs that Tony R0bbins talks about; certainty, uncertainty, acceptance, connection, worth, contribution) by behaving a certain way. If the behaviour is subconsciously then the subconscious mind cannot determine what is right or wrong. It does what it does for its own reason. It doesn’t know how to accept or reject lessons, especially when it comes to good/bad behaviour. The child reacts with a behaviour system it thinks will get it what it wants. The adult interprets the behaviour as bad as the adult’s conscious mind knows that they is not acceptable behaviour. The adult scolds the child and the child cries. As far as the child is concerned, it hasn’t done anything wrong and therefore doesn’t understand the telling off.

Ok, so what do you do if you’re the parent?

First of all, think back to when this behaviour started or at least back to a time when you recognised this behaviour happening. What is the child asking for? What is the need? Now, bearing in mind, this might not be exactly what you think it is. NLP teaches us to go beyond the behaviour. As many successful NLP practitioners will tell you, their client’s problems are never the problems they think they have. It’s always a cover up for another issue that needs resolving. if the child wants an ice cream and you would prefer it not to, is the child associating the ice cream with comfort? Is there another needs that needs addressing?

As human beings we are very good at covering up stuff. We can layer on thickly all sorts of diversions right from a very young age which deflects what we really want in life. Sadly, it is these layers that stop us from fulfilling our true potential. Dig deep down beyond what you think is the problem and you find the root of the issue.

Bringing your child into the world and nurturing he or she as they grow and develop is all about teaching them positive behaviours, good communication skills and so on. It is a tought enough battle for any parent.  Add a learning disability on top of that such as ADHD, Autism and so on, and the challenge becomes greater. With my son, who is now 15 and has autism, programming good behaviours in has been very challenging. With Autism, there is a social element as well as a communication one that needs to be addressed before any developing can really start. Communication is 90% of our lives, either to ourselves or to other people.  With children on the ASD spectrum, their sense of identity is very different to the rest of the world. Coping with how they see themselves is very much half the battle, so something like NLP which doesn’t judge, segregate or categorise people in any way shape or form can be the key to unlocking the potential that lies within everyone.

If you would like a FREE 30 minute consultation with me on how either NLP or Life Coaching can help you find your answer, then please do get in touch with me as I would love to help you. You can fill in the form below or if you prefer, email me direct at Thank you